scissors just aren't working for me

You know my lawnmower? Well, I realize you don't know it PERSONALLY, but you know that I have one? Yeah well it's broken. It's name was Morris. And it's broken. Okay so this isn't really breaking news since it's been broken for quite some time. But it's just more noticeable now that my grass is growing 17 inches per day. See this picture? It's not actually of my yard, but it could be. So I happened to be working on some schoolwork this afternoon and as I was sitting at my computer, I thought, "What's that buzzing sound?" My brain immediately identified the sound to be that of a lawnmower. I ran to the window and looked to see where it was coming from. Guess what I saw! My lawnmower turning itself on and preparing to mow my yard! No. That's not it. It was Cavalier Lawn Service mowing the yard across the street. So I watched the guy with his GIGANTIC push mower - the biggest I've ever seen. With that big mower and our little tiny yards, he literally had to go up and down four times and the yard was done. As he packed his mower back on to his truck I raced across the street and came screeching to a stop right at his feet.

"How much do you charge for mowing yards?" I burst out.

"I can't mow it today," he replied.

"I understand. I'm just asking how much you charge." I explained to him that my mower was broken and my grass was up to my head and I could no longer see my car from my front door. He looked from me to my yard, back to me, back to the yard, and then he had a momentary look of pity on his face before he threw out, "Give me $25 and I'll do it right now."

I looked at him like he had just asked me to build a full-scale replica of Camden Yards out of saran wrap. I said, "With all due respect, sir, it will take 4 turn-arounds to mow that yard. I'll give you $20."

He said, "People pay me $35 to mow yards that size."

I was like, "Well then people can keep on paying you $35 then. It won't be me." So my grass is still on it's way to breaking some world record for tallest grass ever. I can't keep up with scissors. Annhead suggested a sickle thing - the thing with the curved blade that can cut grass - but that kinda creeps me out. I can't even look at one of those things ever since my sister stuck one through her leg when she was like 12 or something. Creepy.