redlights

I know probably everybody already knows this about me, but I'm just putting it out there anyway:

I hate redlights!

They are all against me. They plan, they scheme, they whisper. They tell their nasty little secrets to each other as I approach. I can hear them laugh as they do everything they can to frustrate the snozzcumbers right out of my nose. They take delight in my exasperated "ARRRGHHHH!'s" that burst out of my mouth.

Ask anyone who has driven with me. The stoplights always turn red when I am in a hurry or am just driving along, minding my own business. I get so tired of stopping every 45 feet. Start, stop, start, stop. ARRRRRRGHHHHH! But yet when I'm trying to DO something, like read a book, change a CD, read directions, text somebody, open something, etc., the lights are ALWAYS green. Sometimes they even turn red as I approach and then when I reach for a piece of paper so that I'll have something to do while I'm waiting for the senseless redlight, it turns green. Like it knows I was about to go do something productive.

It's like they know me.

Where is a city with no stoplights. I want to live there.